i'm pretty lost, with the many options and choices i've to make.

i'm in dilema whether to start my advance programme next month.

i've got driving to learn, tuition to teach, morning admin job to do, and maybe more.

the worst thing is, i'll be going quite a no of holidays, which means to say, either i work or study, it will be affected.

and if i were to start my advance programme, which means to say, school fees!

holidays, EXPENSIVE school fees! i where got so much money ah...ARGHHHH!!!

wht to do?






2-faced, hypocrite, shit person.
cos i belong to the world...

hello, feeling really tired. i don really like waking up in the morning..sigh. i need loads of sleep, someone who can really sleep though. anyhow, i'm up at the office alr.

i say bye to night life on weekdays.
say hi to sunshine.

its work, school, home!
how mudane my life is.

anyhow, pretty happy to have met phanida ytd for a short while.
booked an appt for her to get her hair done, and its now coloured brown! a healthier looking hair!
and i'm glad she like it=D

i got mine done too!!
results turn out pretty loving it, a change i guess=D

and i passed my FTT at my very 1st attempt, with me not reading and understanding a shit, and i passed!
SHOCK was how i felt, felt super unbelievable though..wahahhaa..

i wont be going melbourne in sept alr, cos sadly, money became an issue to the other party...sigh.
but we'll be going BKK! which is alr confirmed=D
and i may go to KL in sept, short trip and to SUNWAY LAGOON. (sp)
and december, high chances to PHUKET..HKT!

and since i'm no longer going melbourne, i really wna go tioman, for SUBA-DIVING!!!!
and do my WAKE-BOARDING!
and i'll be heading to KELONG, in aug during national day, chill and lax w family!
and fishing there, scenaries there pretty awesome! hehe..may wna ask some people along.
memories there were plenty, but a past that's over. will just wna enjoy myself!yup, i will.

and i've decided not to have the super long break, i'll take no break till next year, at least finish my advance dip!

so life goes on, with work, school and home! and more hols and programme coming along.
i wonder how in earth, i'm gna find time for driving..sigh.
and moreover, i'm gna take up another part time course! TEDIOUS!
but i guess, its my achievements, and i know i will go for it. yup..


CANT WAIT FOR CHLOE TO BE BACK IN SG, will probably party when she's back. and i'll be duper tired. lol..


updated, take care all=D

hey all..feeling pretty happy!
cos-ed..i had a great week, working, and found some time to do at least half of my school report, and did some studying for my exam which just passed this thursday! and and, still manage to find time to party! partied thurs and fri=D wheee..lol.

thurs @ PLAY!
fri @ ZOUK!

pictures are up on fb!

and after so many talks about different trips and destination..
my trip to BKK is confirmed! and booked. we'll be going for a 5days 4nights trip! woohoo..
and there is quite a no tts going.

finally one of the talks worked!
and hopefully soon, the melbourne trip would be confirmed too!
suddenly feel so poor..:(

i was looking at the video, and i realised, i've been missing out too much on YBC's events this year...
but i guess, there's a limit to how much one can do for everything.
choices over choices..

neways..this ad is just hilarious! CLICK IT!

=D

being early at work, i decided to post something.
walking past chinatown, seeing those old people that are so helpless yet work so hard, my heart reaches out to them.
and really had to urge of crying.

reading the newspaper, really worries me that i may just be the one to be infected with the disease H1N1!
and had the sudden unable to breath sort of thing, and it really does scares me..

was looking at certain pictures ytd and recently,
realising the beauty of her..
not because she is pretty, but she get to be loved by him and not me.
jealous, envy and unbeautiful was how i felt in me.

work ytd was pretty cool, learnt pretty a lot of stuff..
just pretty afraid that i may not cope on my own..
got to say goodbye to late nights, and super hello to the sun!
i'm feeling the tireness!

i believe so that, it finally came to a great ending!
cos no one is indispensible, aint able to witness the great time that happen annually!
but nevertheless, i had a great time at kireon's house party! and and..
GAY night @ supperclub!
the feeling came back, of me, climbing on those beds! 
insanely need drink orders to be cleared!
and breakfast for being so well done!

gains and losses!

a new day and a new start tomorrow!
exam this thurs! nth has started! i wish i can be as long winded in my essay!


out, sandra=D

i feel contented at heart.
despite all the unpleasant moments, just little moments like this, makes me smile.


i personally know i'm not an easy person to deal with, yet thankful whoever that's standing with me.


*too many pics from others, wna know abt my crazy party life, facebook is the best source of my pictures=D



happy endings, fairy tales, dramas, i still believe it exists..
however, the fairy tale i believed in, never last.
somehow, i still wna have faith in believing it...
the feeling of loving someone...lol.
to me, its like dots.


till the puzzle completes, partying seems tired, and money-eating!
BUT.. having to meet up with people, partying and having fun with these people!
and and, meeting new people every week, turns out to be a joy!


looking for money source these days..i feel so poor.
but little moments work the smile!
to all, smile, and be happy!
cos happiness can be really easy=D

so as i was ranting in my previous post! 

happiness blossom=D
having my day with the:



LOL..i passed! really happy! cos worries were all over! and and..i went to swim! after so long! had fun swimming and relaxing myself all over again! and next was meeting the girls to PARTY! AWESOME was the word!

went to BUTTER FACTORY! ZOUK & PHUTURE!

the night out with the lovely group of girls were just splendid!

and i just spent my night at PLAY! LESSY NIGHT!
1st time, but awesome people! love it!

dear ed gave me 2 jugs for like freaking $21! insane! but love him! 
thanks for the drinks and sticks=D
so yeah, i decided post something, before i disappear at serene's chalet=D


this week is a PAMPER RELAXING WEEK!
OOHOO..! HAD MANI DONE AND NEXT IS FACIAL! =D
my first facial..wahaha..gonna try it out! YAYNESS!
i'm loving life =D

my discontentments have nv stop ever since this week began, except for the fact, i stayed up to 6am everyday to run after the drame''BOYS OVER FLOWER''!

i wont be doing this show, sad enough, which means, lesser income.
i wont be going for YBC june camp! cos i need money.
greed is causing it! theres too much greed within, and that, i feel there's too much insufficient.
i guess, i've always been like this.

too much of neglects..
due to the intolerance attitudes and behaviours!
the unhappiness in me, just dont seem to decrease!

loner as it may be... learning the new concept of the loner concept!

oh well..all friends occupied, with projects and other friends.

i hear them rant everytime! so do they! enough!

too much rantings! very suffocated!



my rants shall end here! or my unhappiness will increase further(:

i don exactly hv a habit of putting a title for my post, cos, for all my post, is all the random thoughts i have within, or the many happenings. but i guess, i should try to make it a habit. every story has its title to it! and i shall make this my resolution for this month!=D

anyhow, my exam on thursday was pretty alright, not expecting a distinction, just let me pass and get over it! and very soon, i will end this whole course. i officially end at the end of july! and afterwhich, i'm gna declare holidays for myself! oh.. i went for FISH SPA the day before my exam at VIVO, we practically make a fool out of ourselves! super hilarious!

pictures talk!
                            



280509:
went teoheng from 1 to 7pm! 6 hrs of singing! was awesome=D
pictures are corrupted so will post them some other time!

webcam session:


there are others, but there seem to have some technical problem!

anyws..29may to 31may was spent at camelot!
the school was just bad!
had an insect bite, and now, have a swollen ankle! and it does hurt!

~~~a note to you,
i have no intentions to hurt you, no intentions to make you feel so tired, i din know i was an affection towards you. thanks for the understanding towards my lifestyle. but the feel for you, has been very stagnant, no further more. and to me, such things cannot be forced. and i know in time to come, you will be able to find the other better half. forgive me, i'm really sorry.



it was nice to catch up with a few of sc members! the ones who took care of me, i love you guys and misses reach out to you=D
hearts<3!

friday presentation went lets say..pretty alright! with my lovely members=D
anyhow, interviewed w alicia was alright, still in considerations however, i guess pay wise, i'll stay where i am. oh well..i don get as much priviledges though..

SATURDAY WAS THE BOMB!!! slept from 7am till 630pm!!!! slightly lesser than 12 hrs but still very awesome! work like from 10pm to 1am! taxi down to ZOUK with ABOVE & BEYOND in the house! was simply great! meeting friends were even more awesome! just din wna leave zouk, but the next venue was even better cos i went to the FUEL PARTY! which was simply awesome, meeting people like edric, don, ben and serjio! and meeting my friend who got me in as a VVIP! LIKE VERY VERY IMPORTANT !!!L0L..oh, and the above names were people working behind the bar! which means i got FREE DRINKS! and the guy running the event was SERJIO! it was just FUN3! with the fact you enjoy like hell! and the event ended, with me rushing to serene's place=D waited for taxi! and taxi-ed down! and talked a little, and having lets say..about 2 hrs of sleep! and i was up, to head for supposedly class. we reached but left after stepping in! HOW DUMB! BUT FUN! LOL...anyhow, dad picked us up, and head home to sleep! but she did, not me! surprised to be awake. and slack till evening, hao yi came along, waiting downstairs! how dumb! oh well..den kel came along. not expected, cos i knew he was heading back camp! oh well..

THE AMAZING SAT PICTURES! credit to FACEBOOK! wahhahahahah...
i wonder when did this unglam pic came about! but hilarious! so its up! wahahhaha..


we were at fuel party! the only pic at fuel party..lol.

MONDAY!
dad sent me; studied at hougang macs!
met serene and family!
had iciban! and NATM2!
and was sent home! pretty well treated like princess!
priviledged MONDAY=D


exam on thursday! so let's say tgt..GG OR GL! LOL..BYE!

i guess it's getting granted somehow, and i'm thankful. despite the statues i'm in, aint the best moments. yet this may be my most contented moments, where i'm actually thankful for everything that came by, left and whts remained. these days, been the down turn for most of my friends, and this period had dragged for a pretty long time. i still believe, everything will get better in time. i've been through, wht i thought is my worst. therefore, i'm prepared to survive through the more upcoming pain. yet agn, i'm afraid to love agn, the pain that was through, was seriously terrible, the thought of it now still aches so badly. but i guess, by going through a few more, i will know how to really stand strong, really strong. adn probably go through a few more aches, to see whts the best.


its really scary to see how my friend is, yet i cant do anything about it. i do not know anymore, if this friend of mine deserve to have me as a friend. someone who backs up all her evil acts. she probably does it unknowingly, and that i'm afraid when all its exposed, it becomes a harm. i wonder, wht exactly izzit she wants, what has become of her like that, idk, cos i really don. i see my ex in her. i wish this vicious cycle will be completely removed from her soul, from her. cos i don wish to see yet another to get hurt. having to see 2 is enough. easy come easy go. it causes fear to come between.


ponned school for emergency! this week past pretty slow, with little activities, but as tmr comes, it will moved quickly. with me working, and meeting flo on thurs, and working agn on fri. thats right! 

and and,,

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, MOM..

i've been very blessed to have you, who acted like a mom, a friend, a maria, to my every needs. one who tries the very best to fuifill every demanding request of mine, i know i've been a really lazy bum at home, treat home like hotel. always out, and leaving you all alone at home. you've really been great, and i just want to say, i love you, and it aint just a love i wna say to you, but deep in me, showing this appreciation from my heart. the 19 years hadnt been a easy one, yet, it all went through. i'm sincerely thankful, for there can be no other like you who will treat me like this, who gives me the 200%! i love you always, mom..

the month of may has been pretty a fast moving one, in time to come, the month of may is gna past, i've yet agn another exam to go through. oh well..been pretty busy. start off the month of may, going through the standard first aid course! the whole journey at camelot during and aft the course was just heaps of fun! I'M OFFICIALLY A FIRST AIDER!!!=D

prawning session and k-ing session was simply FUN FUN FUN!

and i'm back working at supperclub, things however may turn out aint the same. i miss the old team. but change is a nature we cant avoid. i believe its pros and cons. and this aint gna be permanent, i'll move on as time goes by.

neways..talking about fun! its been really a good one, everywhr with all the lovely peeps=D

went for flora's 21st! choosing birthday card was something i felt really tough, with the many selections!
anyhow, manage to find one rdy, with no words printed on yet, and the shitty thing is the card is with her!!! oh man..

GELAR'E with carol and val. joy came later with her falling after passing her basic! oh man..gain sth and lose sth..
anyhow..it was nice, feeling the joy in the atmosphere! in fact, we practically spent the whole of tuesday tgt..
headed for churroz which was unpleasantly not that tasty! and with cocktails, having to see joy getting tipsy with just a glass of cocktail was simply hilarious! next, headed to moonbar, to light carol's expression, hopefully she did. had major fun, taking pics and doing all the lame stuff!

my day goes on, with me being a burden at rach's place! that they practically threw me in the toilet! l0l..
manage to get there before 12 to wish her a HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
and this sat is her party..will be able to meet my girls agn! miss them all always..

i BOWLED AND POOLED w GEORGINA ytd! and and...i had loads of fun w all lameness! and and.. we were always tie! next..headed to supperclub! was invited for dinner, the bar was open for us, simply had fun, with charlie as the dessert boy! l0l..

pictures up on fb! long post about life! oh well..l0l..
rah's at my place, so shant make it any longer=D
keep smiling and keep going all..

pretty thankful, i din make a rush decision about things that were happening. you're indeed so unbeautiful and that, you think way too highly of yourself! karma, will decide when to hit you. by being more mean, will get you no where. good grief you got yourself an insane girl, forever or not, is another thing! all the best. i no longer think the best of you.






f,j!

this afternoon, alone in this room, enjoying the peace is probably something, i've found comfort in. and when the foot steps out of this house, the battle continue to fight. hearing the many stories you can hear, continue to look at this world with that judgement of yours. this moment of calmness simply soothes this heart of mine. and it goes..just let things stay this way..at least for now. 

happiness can be obtained very easily, contentment within heart, less the competitiveness, in that contentment is easier to be achieve i guess. complacent and contentment. the have and nots, seriously, it boils down to the same point where the life ending with happiness, greed, sadness feeling miserable about life, the gruge towards someone...let the discontentment be away from the you, from the heart. and lets learn to look at life in a more optimistic way.. smiling to everyone be it the difference of status, let it be the key to the heart. 

take flight from discontentment.. 

i think i'm the worst person living on this earth man!
i ate dinner at about close to 8pm!
and i'm home, eating supper at 12am! OMG!!!
dinner was RAMEN! supper was KOREAN MAGGIE MEE!
oh man, the only difference is the country, one from jap and one from korea!!!
OMG!!insane..
and and...weight of cos put on like hell also!
and instead of studying when exam is on thursday!
i got up at like 3pm! and went shopping, and finally studied and did a question for 50mins!
and i called it a day! INSANE!

i'm just as insane! sometimes i question my thoughts and actions!!!
oh well, all the many days, pictures are on FB! and no more clubbing on fri and sat!
sadly..oh well. i miss the old team.. all scattered!

oh well...i need to save money! cos I'M GOING AUSSIE!!!!!
wahahhaha..but spending money like water is yet another thing!
currently holding 2 jobs on hand..
i need more and more..ARGHH!!!! 2K 2K 2K!!!

alrighty..love love, gna stay on com still.. digesting on supper!
and will be heading to NYP! to get assistants!!! oh man..
and thurs onwards..i'll be a free women! no more accounts then..
weeee....but for now...got to endure with it.

and uploading of takong pics is done! NIGHTS ALL!!!!

XOXO, sancha=D





i wish i had another way to phrase the wish! oh..wishing star(:

the month of april, has been a thrilling one, with full of many ups and downs. excitements and downfall, be it for me or for others. i reached out to you guys out there, no matter where i am. everyday had been a fulfilling one, with the many catch ups, listening to the stories, doing camps, stressed up with school work, partying and working..trying out the many different things. it been pretty awesome, though, i'm pretty much very tired alr. many thoughts been running, just kept writing to this one.neither do i get it emotionally or physically.

ytd:
went to tekong to send bro off. held granny, listening to her stories, i wish something could be done abt it.
rushed down to ngc, did rehearsals
off to work at sc..
i miss the old sc team, i stand in a corner, looking at the many different directions and angle..
i miss everyone of you...those brothers that will always look out for me and take me in care.
change, hate or love?

supposed to be up at 9am, with me getting home at 6! i slept on, i did not go. it was my bad. irresponsible it may be, i'm truely sorry..



i've always been here for you..
will always still..
however..i'm tired very much..

my days have been good, and i'm happy that it is.
relieved, and happy.
finally, felt very light-hearted.
all my dearest are good, period.
i hope it stays that way, but we cant live in denial.
changes always occur..
''change is a challenge and an opportunity, not a threat''!

those who are sick and weary, grow w strength..
cos i will keep asking more strength for you..

*felt relieved and elated to receive that morning call from you..
hearing from you, yourself that you're fine.
just want you to know still here for you..always will.
thankful that you're good now.

**though that catch up was intentionally, the intentions were met.
hearing from you telling me you were fine, and will stay strong.
felt a sign of relieve. and pls stay still strong..
cos, no matter wht, the bad days will past..
and soon enough, i will see you agn, shinning like a wanting star!

***finally the call was answered, though we chatted for only 8mins plusminus...
but hearing from you makes me feel happy. i saw the heart smiling.
though news from you aint that pleasant, but i know in time to come, you will be all ok.
in fact, still handling things pretty well, and i guess in your case, you choose to avoid.
i'm back on track, i'm with you!


all the pretty ones out there, whoever that i've neglected or you hv, we'll meet really soon!
COS WE GOT TO!



life recently, was going out w serene and mahjong! and more puhlease!=D
pictures w serene, hopefully, shes not too busy being in love that she neglects all the pretty pics of mine..
wahahhaha..alrighty. work at moonbar was pretty alright, just moments of clueless.
i'm good, and i miss you you & you!
bro will be back in less than 20 hrs! i guess he's on the plane, otw back home!
hopefully, i get nicey pressie! =D

SANDRA..SPENT SPENT SPENT!
and she needs $$$$$$!

after so many days of drama, life finally came to a rest. right now, am home, slacking and thinking about life again. too many playbacks, of the rewinds. looking at others, looking at myself. its really been a very long journey. be it pleasant enjoyable or otherwise. or have reached the change in self, in others. and have definitely grown. there will always be misses and more misses. but thats the memories for. leaving the bad things behind and taking the goods away with us.

met up with some new friends and met up with old friends too!
meet ups w the RPs! a few of them!
SUSHI TEI w CASS, PRICS & JONAH!


no pics w jonah thou!

but we had our super full!
and next headed to p's place for MJ!!
playing for about 13 hrs! still yet to beat the record thou! wahahha..
had my fun laughing! =D=D=D

good fri was spent sleeping! till 730pm.l0l.
afterwhich, met up w BURGER!
l0l..SSS! yup..trained w me.
and met up w RAH! catched up, another SSS.
**its a pity, but whatever the situation is, its been all done..
we cant change the situation but we can always stay optimistic to face life.
and just have to continuously ask for strength,
and may you guys have the effortless strength to stay strong.

tonight, will be going to moonbar to work, how is things gonna be like? idk.
just hope for things to be well and smooth.


it was aint expected, with that happening, there aint any courage to even acknowledge you.
however, i guess, things this way, with me not acknowledging the presence of yours will be better.
and have yet to find one that i really wanna commit and restrict myself to.
its been too much that i've seen. and playing aint the thing i want either.
respect to self, respect to others. vicious cycle never stop.


for you, for you, and for you..

had a great start of the week at camelot!
checked in at 1030 on sunday!
and hit the school the next day!
and my 1st campers were from canberra sec.
was initially an attachee, but the whole of day 1, i was practicaly replacing zee.
anyhow, the second day i replaced hafiz! and went to the other group.
had my joy and laughter spread all over.
great experience, great learning!
WO SEH!

break camp on wed! hit home and head to sch!
was GG when i was on the way home!
so slept from 730pm all the way till today 11am!

duty with camelot makes me feel like its away from reality,
hitting back to home, was just like back to reality.
anyhow, trip to batam and kelong is officially cancelled!

i pray for happiness, for my friends..
i pray, for all of you to be well and happy.
i pray, that you guys will be good.

the bad things are all coming at the same time.
not just 1 friend, but a couple of my best girlfriends.
and its saddening to hear things that are unpleasant.
i pray for all of you to be good. and be back in shape soon agn!


torn with the unneccesaries..
pardon me, but fuck off from now!
patience had been hit!
i wish you were w me to give me strength, or i guess more strength.
let me stay strong and fight this battle.
and knowing you're here w me, when you're needed.
but, strength can only be found within self!